DISTRACTIONS


Last Friday we had our fireplace swept, as we do every year.  We “burn” almost every night from late September to early May.  My husband likes the ambiance and we both like the smell and the warmth.  I could do without the dirt of logs and kindling, and the constant stream of ashes, but in power outages we have been cozy and comforted and I have boiled water in my Greek coffee pot for morning coffee, which is key to blackout survival.  A favorite moment in power outage history was in 1999, Hurricane Floyd. The temperature dropped after the storm and we lit a fire.  I announced that we were having ice cream for dinner, which we and our small children ate in front of the hearth; they asked if we could have a hurricane every month.  If I had been clever I would have made a hurricane night every once in a while.

Prior to the sweeping this year, we lit a fire in late August, on a ninety degree day, to burn a creosote sweeping log to soften the ash for the sweep.  As a result the house smelled a bit like burned paper.  The sweep, in an effort to diminished the smell of paper and soot, sprayed a "deodorizing scent" when he was done.  I came down and said "What is that smell?"  He replied “I sprayed Apple scent.”  My heart sank.  My daughter, who lives with us, is allergic to apples.

My husband suggested that I not tell her, maybe she would be alright, and I prayed that sickly smell was artificial apple.  An hour later when the AC kicked on, my daughter came down sick as a dog and said “I don’t know what just happened!  My whole head and throat suddenly began to burn and I tossed my lunch!”  I explained, got her allergy meds, and she went to friend’s house to recover.  I called the sweep who thankfully informed me that he had sprayed only the firebox. He also apologized profusely (it was a well meaning-ed error).

I spent the next several hours, Cinderella-like, inside the firebox of my chimney with a scrub brush and four different cleaners, for four separate scrubbing sessions. Awash with frothy grey bubbles, sore knees and after disposing of  gallons of black sooty water, my fireplace has never been cleaner.  I even scrubbed the damper.

Now where are those glass slippers?  They make such nice ice cream dishes.


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