Revelations

    Revelations can start in unexpected ways.  Occasionally they come upon me in the aisle of the supermarket when a package of something may trigger a new association, which leads to an “Aha” moment of memory, understanding or problem solving.  Sometimes in the morning, if I enter gently into wakefulness, a surge of creativity can occur in thought and in ideation and an artistic concept emerges or a painting worry is relieved.  I have experienced similar surges waking from naps in the studio, to look at work in progress and see clearly with those bleary waking eyes – “Oh that’s what I need to do:”  suddenly obvious in the half dream, half wake state.

    I hate to admit it, but physical activity can push the mind into a creative and shifting point of view as well. I’m not much for athletics, but running like a hamster on a wheel, or dancing on my own, for extended periods of time, can also push me into the mindset of revelation.

    The strangest shift, by far, for me, is that brought on by the actions of other people.  Not the verbal argumentation of others, because that is the value and purpose of discussion: to present differing points of view and grow through interaction: similar growth is expected from reading.  However, when the life, behaviors, and personal interactions of other people alter my state of mind, the shift can be quite jarring, especially when it becomes a revelation of my own personality. 

    I’m sure I look peculiar when these changes in understanding take place.  I seem to be, in those moments, between two worlds; one of past understanding and one of new perspective. Those “moments” can sometimes be hours, depending on the nature and depth of the changes to my conceptual understanding, of my environment, or of the larger world in which I reside.  When the shift is that long, I feel out of step, unsure of almost every perception.  Its not a bad state of mind in which to be, but it is disquieting; it is a state of passage, not dwelling.

    Change carries with it an excitement for growth, but also the inevitable need for mourning the loss of the familiar, and likely to have been comfortable, attitude.  These times of progress and insight can alter a mindset held dear for decades.  The growth, confidence and sorrow, can be over whelming, but the balance of deeper self-knowledge is worth it.